On the way to the hospital I had that feeling. you know the feeling that you got when you were at school and you told the teacher you felt really sick, and then as soon as you got home you miraculously felt fine again! I was second-guessing my pains, wondering if it was really nothing and that I was just being a drama queen as per usual! When we pulled up we pretty much abandoned the car outside as we were expecting the nurses to say that it was a false alarm and that we could go home. Nichola looked rather nervous, I mean, you have to remember that I was 20 and Nichola was 19. A couple of young girls rocking up to hospital whilst I was potentially in labour, whilst no ‘adult adults’ were answering their phones! We were like a couple of helpless school girls, both as scared as each other! It really makes me laugh looking back now. I wish I had a picture of Nichola's face - the whole situation earned her some serious God Mother points!
On the short walk from the car to the hospital my pains started again, but now they were REALLY hurting. When one of the pains came I stopped to lean against the corridor wall on the way up to the Assessment Unit, Nic turned around and told me to hurry up and stop being dramatic! Whilst her voice was care-free, her face told a different story. She was definitely praying to God in her head that I wasn't actually in labour and she wasn't going to have to deal with my dramatic arse alone.
We got up there and a Midwife came to see us. She laid me on a bed and told me to stay still whilst she hooked me up to some monitor. She had a read through my maternity notes and had spotted that I had been monitored a few days ago for Andre's heartbeat, so she wanted to check things were ok. They weren't. Andre's heartbeat was erratic again, but not enough for them to want to section me, thankfully. I explained about the pain relief-free, water birth that I wanted so bad, but unfortunately this wasn't going to happen now due to his heartbeat. I had to lie as still as possible throughout my labour so the monitor could assess Andre. Sitting still sounds so much easier than it actually was! All I wanted to do was move around, wiggle away the pains and bounce on a ball. Maybe even take a walk! But I couldn't do any of this. I had to lie there as still as possible. Nichola watched the numbers on the monitor go up and up every time my contractions came on. Her face screwed up worse than mine. Probably because she knew that I was about to either hurl her some abuse or bite her arm- sorry babes!
After a while another Midwife came in to give me an internal assessment. She could tell by the machine that I was in labour, but she wanted to see how far dilated I was. When she tried to go down below, I screamed for her to stop. She looked up confused, but to my absolute horror, I was weeing myself … and I couldn't stop haha! Don't worry it wasn't actually wee - it was my waters breaking. I had read so many stories about women who are out in public places and it gushes out of them like the Tsunami! I'm not too sure how true that is as mine just trickled out bit by bit. The Midwife left me go to the toilet as I did feel like I needed a wee, but even when I stood up the waters didn't gush. They trickled leaving a trail from the bed to the toilet though – mortified!
After I had been to the toilet I had lost my Show. I can't even explain how the hell I felt when I saw my Show on a tissue. (If you aren’t sure what this is, Google it). I screamed and ran with the tissue to the Midwife saying I'm either going to die or give birth to Flubber. But no, this was just another normal, ‘glamorous’ part of labour that you don’t get told about.
After the waters and Show drama I was put back on monitoring, I hated being stuck to this frigging machine when I was in so much pain. Nichola was in and out of the room trying to get signal on her phone to ring Kal and my Mum, but still no luck. The lady came back in with a speculum because she wouldn't be able to see much whilst my waters were still trickling out. When I saw the speculum I honestly thought it was the end of me, it is like the biggest dildo you've ever seen in your life!! Sorry for being so crude but I need to prepare people for this shit! She confirmed that my waters had stopped and I was now 2cm dilated. I just love it when other women tell me that they didn't realise they were in labour until they were like 8cm dilated and that they sneezed the baby out, no fucks given. When I say love it, I mean hate it. I sit there with an awkward smile, embarrassed to admit that I lost my shit when I was just 1cm dilated. Take my friend Morgan for example. I just love her. She's a Mum of three and I swear to God, with her last baby, she did the school run then had a casual walk up to hospital to push the baby out. She's a machine. I don’t know how she does it, it makes me want to punch her!
The Midwife told Nichola it was going to be a good few hours until the baby came. It was the early hours of Sunday morning by this point. I obviously couldn't leave the hospital as I needed to be monitored constantly, so Nichola left whilst I was put onto a ward for the night. Kal eventually answered the phone and he came straight home from England camp. He had to use Zak's car as he'd got a lift on the way there and didn't even have his own car. He went home to get our hospital bag and car seat for the baby and returned to hospital for 8am. I was in so much pain by now!
The Midwife put us in our own room and when she next came to assess me I was 5cm dilated. It fucking hurt - a lot! I was wheeled down to delivery in a wheelchair. I had a hospital gown on and Kal said to me "Babe pull the gown up everyone can see your boobs". I screamed back "I couldn't give a fuck if the Queen saw my tits Kallum, do you understand how much pain I'm in??" You really don't care about anything like that when you’re in labour! Safe to say Kallum didn't say much after that, sorry Boo!
On the delivery bed I was really being vocal about how I felt. I'm not one to bottle up how I'm feeling at the best of times! The room had one Midwife in, but suddenly quite a few more entered the room. She calmly told me that the baby was breech. I actually didn't care by this point though! I was exhausted, in masses of pain and I just remember saying to her "it's ok, it doesn't matter because I don't even want a baby anymore".
I had a lady with her hand inside my vagina and a man trying to insert a needle into my hand. You can only imagine the abuse that poor man received! I had another lady asking me to sign a form incase I had to be sectioned. Was this actually happening? Was I actually being asked to read and sign a form whilst a lady's full arm was practically inside me!? Haha. I squiggled my name without reading a thing, I could have been signing my life away but I really didn't care. And then I had a different lady who was trying to perform an ultrasound exam. She screeched at the top of her voice "No heart beat!! Extreme pressure on the baby's head". I died inside hearing this. A button was pressed I was hurled onto a trolley. Before you could even say the word Caesarean I was in theatre with Kallum. He was in full scrubs surrounded by a full team of people ready to perform a grade one section. My Mum had just arrived when all his was happening but she was forced to wait outside as you can only have one person in theatre with you, and I needed Kal with me.
I had to have a spinal block. That was upsetting for me as I had got this far without an Epidural and I was so determined to do it without one! I wanted to just bounce back and not be bed bound afterwards. Oh well, you can’t plan these things. They wanted me to sit up and sit still whilst I was contracting like hell, which is near impossible! I almost couldn't do it, but they told me that if I couldn't, I would have to be put to sleep and I really didn't want that. Once it was done, I just laid there whilst the surgeon got to work. I didn't even feel the needle one bit. There was so much going on that for once, my needle fear was the least of my worries. I told Kal to tell me a story to try and keep my mind off what was actually going on, but he didn't need to do that for long as all my panic, pains and worries disappeared.
Fourteen hours from the start … Andre David Watkins was placed in our arms.
(End of Part 9)