I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous creating my first blog post.
Not only writing it, but for other people to read it! I was unsure of
where to start, but then I thought … what better place to start than
the beginning? The beginning of me and Kallum Watkins! Before any
weddings, babies or houses … when it was just the two of us.
Kallum and I first exchanged messages over Facebook. My brother, Dave,
made everyone laugh at his speech at my wedding when he said that I’d
actually picked Kallum off the team sheet! Everyone laughed, assuming
it was a joke! Well embarrassingly … it wasn’t! It’s true, haha!!
It all started when my good friend Zak was signing for Leeds Rhinos. I
had made a joke about the players and Googled 'Leeds Rhinos first
team'. Quickly scanning through the website, I picked the best looking
brown boy on the team – Kallum Watkins!
I added him on Facebook, not really thinking much of it, and within
the hour he’d slid into my DMs! We exchanged a few flirty messages.
God, I SO wish I still had them to show you, I’d die of embarrassment!
Anyway, after a couple of weeks of messaging, I received a final one
from Kal telling me that he was giving things another shot with his
ex-girlfriend and that he couldn't message me anymore. I thought that
was the end right there. Gutted.
A few months down the line, Zak told me that Kal had been asking about
me at training and had said I had a nice arse on a picture he'd seen
(thanks love!) It became apparent that things hadn't worked out with
his ex and luckily for me - he'd just moved over to Leeds from
Manchester. At the time I had a Twitter account and Kallum followed
me, so I obviously followed him back. The messages begun again and he
asked me out on our first date. Nando’s of course! He actually wanted
to take me to Piccolinos in Leeds, but I suggested Nando’s at Xscape
instead! I’d done it to make me sound less expectant … but really, I
was thinking if the date didn’t go to plan, it was only a fiver to
‘back door’ it in a cab! Come on – it’d have cost £45 from Leeds ha!
The first date was amazing, I ordered the biggest glass of wine and
the smallest wrap. I was too scared to eat. Kal brought the cutlery
back to the table but he hadn’t got me any – he obviously assumed I’d
eat a wrap with my hands. I snook off to the toilet with my phone to
call Nichola, my best friend, and asked her what the etiquette was.
Should I eat with my hands as he expects, or go get a knife and fork?
Embarrasing, haha. Anyway, cutlery was the last thing on my mind as I
got very drunk, very quickly!
Somehow, Zak, Nichola and my brother ended up crashing the date and we
all ended up on a drunken night out in Wakefield, ending up in the Pie
Shop … classy!
Now I think back, we actually had an argument on our first date. Haha.
I’d forgot about that until just now!! He wanted to come home with me
and I said ‘no’. He stormed off in a mood as I told him to get out of
my taxi - wooops. Well how was I supposed to know I’d end up marrying
Surprisingly, we spent pretty much every single day together after
that. I forgave him for being moody and told him that he’d have to
wait 10 dates before he came home to my Mum’s, or anything happened
between us! To this day I swear we waited 10 dates … but he claims
it’s more like 5.
So as time went on, I fell for Kal - HARD. It was more like an
obsession at first. Everything about him excited me and if he'd have
let me, I would have spent every second of every day with him. The
rugby attracted me too. I mean, of course it did! I think any wife or
girlfriend with a rugby playing partner feels the same. There is
something so exciting about watching your man run on the pitch in his
kit representing his team and thinking “yes, he’s mine” … but he
wasn’t, not yet anyway.
Things became turbulent. I was head over heels and thinking back, I
probably came on too strong! I would message him and not get a reply
for hours, sometimes days. He was far too casual for my liking. I used
to go on a night out and call him 578999 times when I was drunk. To be
fair, he would do the same to me after he’d had a drink, but he just
wasn’t as bothered when he was sober. I detected something was wrong
and it wasn’t long before alarm bells started ringing - I was sure he
was back in contact with his ex! And many other girls most likely. I
didn’t even blame him, he was in the spotlight and was a young, up and
coming, rugby league star that every girl in Leeds seemed to want.
Girls would send the most cringy messages to him, and let’s face it,
he was a young, good looking sportsman. That must have been hard for
him to handle.
I left him to it. He left me to it. We went from hanging out every day
and being the best of friends, to complete strangers. I thought about
him every second of every day. I just felt like it was bad timing and
I knew that he had been in quite a long and intense relationship
before we met up.
I would look for him on Facebook and would know that when he was
seeing his ex - his profile would be deleted, and when he was single -
it would reappear. I don’t blame her at all for making him do that
because even I knew that Kal was no angel back then, and after all, we
were all young.
I have never met Kallum’s ex girlfriend. I’m not even sure what she
looks like. I’ve only ever seen a tiny picture from when I tried to
stalk her when I was younger. I wanted to message her so many times
and ask about their situation, but I never did. I used to feel bad at
times, worrying in case mine and Kallum’s relationship overlapped with
hers. If it did, I never knew about it. Kal would just cut me off, he
would always choose her over me, she was his first love!
I tried to push Kallum to the back of my mind and concentrate on work
and my friends. One night, I got all dolled up and got in my car. I
had started talking to an ex of mine and I was on my way to go on a
night out with him and his friends. I got about half way there when I
received a message from Kallum out of the blue! It was an essay so I
pulled over to read it. He told me that no matter how much he tried to
forget me, and no matter how much he didn’t want to be in another
relationship until he was older, he couldn’t stop thinking of me. He
apologised for hurting me. I felt angry, numb and relieved all at the
same time. But at the end of the day – I loved him. I had fallen in
love with him the first time I met him and I knew that I wanted him. I
was willing to give things another go.
We went from nothing, to everything, in a matter of days. The days
turned into months, spending every night together! We’d go on days and
nights out, watch endless amounts of films and speak about our future
together. I ended up moving in with one of my friends who didn't live
far from Kallum. This was much easier as it was a good 45 minute drive
from my Mum’s to his, and she wouldn't let us share a bed together. We’d
fall asleep in separate beds and wake up in the same one – getting us
in trouble! Ha. I was embarrassed about the situation, so I moved out
(soz Mama, love you).
With us living just a few minutes around the corner, it meant that we
were practically living together and everything moved really quickly.
I fell more in love with him every day. We spent so much time
together! Everything was going perfect … until a bombshell was dropped
(End of Part 1)